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February 3, 2003
Memo To: Bikeaholics
From: MoraleOfficerKen, (Stanford MRN 9931539-2)
Subject: Preliminary Damage Report
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Bike: Not much damage, just some scratches on right side of frame, bent left shifter, lots of skid marks on lights, bars, bar tape trashed; foo-foo wheels are fine(!); helmet totaled -- cracked through on left side, liner pretty scuffed up; Oakley frame separated, lenses badly scratched. Ken: Big bruise + road rash on left shoulder, scrapes on left hand, massive puncture wound from what must have been a 10 gauge needle put in for iv drip in ambulance (guess he thought I was a horse), smaller puncture wound from petite_Stanford_nurse-administered iv drip in ER room, road rash on entire left side of ken_face, big bruise around left eye, bloodshot eyes, scuffed-up left ear, and really sore all along left side of body, cuts around both ankles(?), noticeable increase in grey hair above left ear. |
Still not sure what happened, guess I'll read about it in the police report. All I remember is that I was toodling along my usual route to work -- left the house at 7:30, meandered over to Summerhill at Magdalena, then up & over Valley View to University, only had to wait 2 minutes or so for the busy-busy traffic light at El Monte, then continued along University.
I must have gone a block or so, the next thing I know I'm struggling to try and sit up, and there's some lady saying not to move, then there's a guy in a fire helmet shining a flashlight in my eyes and asking me my name, where I am, and other strange questions.
I look around, and there a lot of people gathered around on both sides of the street, looking at me, which is strange because the street was totally deserted when I started down it after the light changed. Then a policewoman appears and asks me my address and whether she can call anyone.
At that point I remember I had been riding a bike, so I ask "How's my bike?". Then a new set of faces appear, dressed like paramedics, and together with the fireman the monster_scissors and start cutting my jacket and jersey off, and doing various things to me, like putting on a neck-head restraint.
They sound truly amazed at what they find in my back pockets -- muffin, pb&j sandwich, carrots, wallet, yogurt, allen keys, zip diskette, cell phone, pump, work id, etc. Then they roll me onto a board, and stick me in an ambulance.
The policewoman appears again and asks me if I know my home telephone number, saying that the number I gave her doesn't work. Then I remember that number is the old Cupertino number, and I try to come up with the Sunnyvale number, but I can't. Just as I'm about to give up, I blurt out 4087462950.
Then a policeman appears and tells me I've been in an accident (incredibly, I hadn't actually figured this out for myself yet). He tells he'll take care of the bike, and I overhear the other woman officer saying there's just some scratches on the car bumper and side panel, and the lady says she wasn't going more than 5 mph when she hit me, and couldn't see me 'cause the sun was in her eyes...
Anyway, I started to figure out where I was on the way to Stanford, and the medic kept engaging me in conversation by asking silly questions like what day it was (I guessed Monday after several seconds of thought), what month it was (I tried, I knew it wasn't January, but I just couldn't remember what came after January), who the President was (I blurted out "George W" and felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment). Then I suddenly remembered that February was what came after January, and blurted that out. I was also shivering uncontrollably the entire time. All sorts of things associated with the left side of my body started hurting after that.
Stanford was nice, as I had the high honor of being the first victim of the day, so everyone was charged up to do their thing. They graciously agreed to try and figure out the buckle system on the Sidis instead of cutting them off. Then it was into cat_scan, then a shoulder xray, then a general cleaning, then a major exam.
I was just almost cozy, and someone came in and said there had been a major accident (10 cars?) somewhere, and they needed 3 spaces in the ER room now! Everyone looked around, saw me, checked the chart, and I was instantly shuffled off to cheaper quarters that featured fewer hitech monitors.
Then a real_doctor came in, read me a long list of my minor injuries, and handed me a set of cerebral concussion symptoms (decreased concentration, difficulty learning in school, sudden mood changes, difficulty in managing personal relationships). I read these carefully, then told him that this was a perfect description of me BEFORE the bike accident. He smiled, gave me a prescription for hydrocodeine, plus a bag of nifty items like skin wound cleanser + applicator, bacitracin gel, etc.
The last act was a nice policeman from Los Altos who appeared to interview me, but I still couldn't remember anything other than that I was riding on University Avenue, then suddenly found myself at Stanford. He had brought my bike over in his car--- then I was released into Sydell's custody and sent home...
Lessons Learned
Not sure! BUT,- (a) should review dynamics and kinematics of bowling_ball-pingpong_ball collisions;
(b) keep wearing a helmet;
(c) getting hit by a car actually doesn't hurt at all, at least for the first 10 minutes or so...