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The Terrible Two:June 14, 1997
E/5/200
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Vital statistics:
200 miles Quotable quotes: "I'm having a Cytomax day!" -- Team optimist/pessimist Tom Lawrence, in one of his optimistic moods. "Gee, I guess I needed a triple after all!" -- Morale Officer Ken Straub, after spending an indeterminate amount of time in his 32 x 26 |
Team Bikeaholics showed up in force at this year's Terrible Two, with participants including Double Century 
Specialist Craig Robertson, Team Optimist/Pessimist Tom Lawrence, Troubadour 
Bill Halleck, Moral & Medical Officer Ken Straub, Foreign Affairs Advisor Thomas Maslen, and Team Security Officer Marc Nix (editor's note: Marc, was that really a TNT jersey you were wearing?). This event, sponsored by the Santa Rosa Cycling Club, has a reputation as one of the tougher events on the double
century circuit, promising "200 miles, 16000 ft of climbing, and
100°".
The ride includes 5 major and numerous non-major climbs. Leaving
Santa Rosa, the course proceeds east over Trinity Grade, drops
into the Napa Valley, heads north and climbs up & over the Geysers,
descends into Cloverdale, then heads over to the coast at Stewart's Point
via Skaggs Springs; it then follows Hwy 1 down to Ft. Ross and
climbs back over the coast range via Ft. Ross Rd, drops into Cazadero,
then finishes with a few minor rollers back to Willowside School.
This is a timed event, commencing with a mass start at 5:30 AM,
and a drop-dead course closure at 10:00 PM--- if you're not in
by 10:00, you don't get the T-shirt, you don't get to buy the
jersey, and your surname has the qualifier "DNF" (as in "John
Doe, Ph.D., Dn.F.") attached to it for the next 12 months (editor's note: there have also been unconfirmed rumors that non-finishers
caught wearing the jersey are subject to being branded across
the forehead with the appellation "TT-DNF"). For some reason people seem to take this particular ride more
seriously than the other doubles in the Triple Crown Series.
Accordingly, some 200 riders assembled at the school at 5:20 AM
to receive a benediction from Ride Director Bill Oetinger. While
listening to his words of wisdom, I immediately noticed one of
the things about this ride that distinguishes it from other doubles---
a general edginess on the part of most participants, and an abnormal
preoccupation with time. Average riders are definitely hard-pressed
to complete the ride in daylight hours, and events like flat tires
or minor mechanical problems that are an annoyance on other rides
can mean the difference between finishing and not finishing the
TT. Riders seem to be constantly aware of how long they are spending
at rest stops, what their split times are, whether their watches
are showing the correct time, etc. So, instead of soaking up what
advice the Ride Director had to offer, most of the riders fidgeted
with their cyclometer clocks and, as the time approached 5:30,
began to mutter darkly that he was cutting into their riding time.
The organizers seemed to sense this, as they abruptly concluded
their remarks and sent us on our way, behind a motorized escort.
We headed out in a strung-out peloton, with the faster riders
and potential record setters immediately droppin
g into hammer mode. The mere mortal riders, which included all
of the Bikeaholics, assumed a more measured pace, somewhat reminiscent
of a Saturday morning "D" ride to the coast. After a bunch of
stop lights and 20 min or so we were in the countryside, moving through rolling hills at a fairly fast clip. The temperature
was pleasantly cool, ideal for riding at a 18-20 mph pace. At
about the 20 mi mark, my handle bar-mount
ed hill detector suddenly chirped a warning, and we found ourselves
on the first major climb of the day, Trinity Grade. This also
turned out to be fairly pleasant, and we continued to ride as
a group while being entertained by Bill Halleck's rendition of the
theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies", but with improvised
lyrics. As Bill's unique songwriting talents came into full play,
I noticed other riders began to give us a lot more room. As we
crested the top of the climb, I stopped briefly to take in the
view, and quickly lost site of the other Bikeaholics.
The descent down to Napa was a very pleasant twisty-windy-with-corkscrew-turns
affair, on a reasonable surface. At mile 32 we turned north onto
Hwy 128, and headed up towards the first rest stop in Calistoga.
This 18 mile stretch was relatively flat, and assisted by a moderate
tail wind we formed mini-pace lines that moved along at 22-23
mph. Our particular paceline accumulated some 10 riders, including
a tandem. The riding really seemed effortless under these conditions,
but our enthusiasm got the better of us--- we blew into Calistoga,
made a couple of turns at the painted "TT" emblems on the road,
then continued up the main street headed out of town. As I traded
off leads with the guy behind me, we both noticed that our paceline
now had just ourselves and one other rider. Our cyclometers also
showed more than the indicated mileage to the first rest stop---
sure enough, we had missed a turn and blown through the first
checkpoint. We turned around and backtracked a mile or so until
we found the rest stop, all the while muttering about the "Terrible
2.02", and whether this additional 6 minutes of riding would cost
us the chance to be official finishers.
The 
rest stop was really well-organized, with a number of special
treats, including seasoned, salty broiled potatoes--- these turned out to be a mainstay of the
TT. We saw several TnT'ers, including Larry, Bob, and Milos. Our stop here was rather brief, as in less than
5 minutes--- everybody seemed to be in a panic to tank up on water,
grab a few potatoes, and head out as quickly as possible. I thought
briefly about taking a longer rest and enjoying the ambiance,
but the obsession with time was sufficiently contagious that,
before I knew what had happened, there I was on my bike heading
out.
The 
route headed north on 128 through vineyards of the Alexander Valley, then meandered ove
r towards the towering ridgeline known as the Geysers. I rode
most of the approach section alone, and began to wonder whether
I was (a) lost; (b) at the very back of the pack; (c) all of the
above. Just when panic began to set in, I saw that reassuring
"TT" scrawled in white paint at some nameless intersection. After
turning onto the Geysers Rd., I finally began to see other riders strung out along the climb. At this point I was feeling pretty
good, fairly zip
ped up the first part of the grade, and actually began to pass
other riders. The temperature started to warm up, but never really
got uncomfortable--- there was even an occasional breeze to keep
up one's spirits. At about 11:00 I crested the top of the climb
and found the second check-in, well-stocked with those broiled potatoes. I also found fellow
Bikeaholics Tom and Craig, along with Craig's wife Lorna, who was working the rest stop. I had seen Thomas on the way
up, and assumed Bill was way out in front.
The pleasant temperatures, company, and view induced us to linger
more than the usual 3 minutes, but eventually peer pressure got
the better of us and we headed on down Sulfur Creek. This turned
out to be a fairly challenging descent, as the roadbed was littered
with gravel, and actually washed out in several places. A long
set of rollers and flats brought us
through Cloverdale, and finally along Dutcher Creek and into the lunch stop at mile 107, at about
12:30.
Lunch was a fairly relaxed affair, but again, somewhat marred
by that nervous edginess about the time. Much to my surprise, my digestive system was
still intact, and I actually craved real food. A turkey sandwich (custom-made by the support crew!) and a few potatoes went
down with no problems, so I pushed my luck with assorted breads,
cookies, melon, strawberries, bananas, & an orange, all washed
down with an Ultrafuel chaser. I finally managed to achieve that
bloated, somewhat sick feeling reminiscent of other doubles, and
decided it was time to leave. Bikeaholic Thomas rolled in as we
were leaving.
The 
route at this point heads up Skaggs Spring Rd towards a double summit---
there is a major loss in altitude between the two high points.
The first part of the climb was on a nicely paved road (put in
about 15 years ago by the Army Corps of Engineering to bypass
Lake Sonoma), not too steep, but that seemed to go on for a very
long time. Once again the weather was merciful--- warm but not
uncomfortable, with occasional breezes. As we gained altitude
we could see over to the coastal ridge, and noticed that the fog bank was definitely present.
The first summit had a yet another nicely stocked rest stop, complete
with brightly colored tarps to provide some welcome shade. After
a quick camelback refill, we were off again on a steep, tricky
desc
ent to the base of the canyon. After crossing a very scenic concrete
bridge spanning the lower canyon, we once again began to climb.
The road became noticeably narrower, and the grade seemed to be
significantly steeper than "Skaggs #1". Up until this time I had
been really enjoying myself, and had even entertained thoughts
that maybe the TT wasn't all that terrible, and that an early
finish was a distinct possibility. At one point I became so confident
that I began to wonder what I would do with the rest of the evening
if I got in as early as seemed likely--- possibly go out dancing?.
For whatever reason, in the space of 5-10 minutes I went from
a really confident, enjoying- myself-strong-rider to a very shaky,
on-the-verge-of-a-total-bonk basket case. I immediately recognized
at least 3 of the 10 early warning signs of a bonk, and jammed
down two tubes of Gu and some water. While waiting for the Gu
to work its magic, I dropped into my super-granny (the one I swore
I would never use on a real ride--- it was only there for testing
purposes), and began to plug along at 3 mph. At first I thought
"Hey, no problem! I can cruise at this speed for as long as it
takes!", but then, on doing the math, realized that 3 mph for
65 miles wasn't going to get me in by the cut-off, or even by
the next morning. I shifted back to a more reasonable climbing
gear, but it just wouldn't work--- plus, my already tired lower
back muscles began to twitch in a thoroughly unregulated manner,
as if they were getting signals from somewhere other than my central
nervous system. I struggled on towards the top of Skagg's #2,
and began to think that maybe the TT was pretty terrible after
all. I also began to feel sorry for myself, which helped a little.
After what seemed like an eternity, an unscheduled water/coke
stop appeared just below the summit. I pulled in and indulged
myself in a cold, non-diet Classic Coke, and shoved down yet another
tube of Gu. The miracle of a rising blood sugar level finally
began to work its magic, and after 10 min I felt good enough to
push on. The road headed along the ridge top, then began a steep
descent as it followed Gualala Creek down to the ocean. The next
check-in was at Camp Gualala, just 9 mi from the coast highway.
The time at this point was 4:00, which seemed to leave me with
lots of room, so I parked myself on some cabin steps and decided
to take a real rest. Bikeaholic Tom was still there, but Craig
was long gone. I studied the route map, and decided that the next
push out to Ft. Ross looked easy, since 4 of the 5 major climbs
were done with, and the fifth climb wasn't until after Ft. Ross.
Some amusement was provided by another rider, a TT veteran, who
was experiencing leg cramps--- we watched with a kind of grim
fascination as his leg muscles twitched & rippled with what seemed
to have a mind of their own. After a few peanut butter creme cookies
we once again rolled out, this time feeling reasonably fit and
fairly confident.
The route map showed it, and the ride description talked about
it, but I didn't really believe it when it happened. There, in
the middle of nowhere, was a no-name, very long, close-to-endless
uphill grind, with a 11-12% average grade. My hill detector went
off-scale, and that steepness indicator of last resort--- front
wheel lift-off--- verified that we were indeed on yet another
significant climb. I dropped back into super-granny mode and stabilized
at that now-familiar 3 mph, and indulged in a not-unpleasant mixture
of self-pity, anger at the ride organizers, and real anger at
the highway engineers who had constructed a road that followed
natural contours rather than just blasting an even, 2% downhill
grade straight out to the coast. My mental state was so far off-balance
that I briefly considered some sort of class action lawsuit against
the road engineers, to be filed as soon as I got back home.
This miserable climb was followed by a quick downhill that finally
brought us out to Hwy 1 at Stewart's Point, but also to what felt like sub-arctic conditions with cold,
wet, blowing fog. Naturally I had neither arm
warmers nor jacket, since it was common knowledge that the TT
featured hot, sun-bak
ed climbs. I joined up with Bikeaholic Tom and two other riders
in a ragged paceline, as we fought hypothermia, gusty sidewinds,
and occasional headwinds for the next 15 miles. We passed numerous
seaside inns, all advertising hot tubs, saunas, warm beds, fireplaces,
and sporting neon "Vacancy" signs. Despite these temptations, we rolled on, and reached
the Ft. Ross Rd turnoff a little after 6:00.
The support crew was ready for even this kind of weather, and
served up steaming Cup-of-Soups via a small camp stove. The time
pressure of finishing the ride before 10:00 finally started to
lift, as we realized we were less than 40 mi from the end and
still had well over 3 hours. Ft. Ross Rd was indeed steep--- probably
11%--- but it was also really pretty as it climbed through fog-enshrouded
redwoods. I continued to plug along in super-granny mode, not
wishing to send what remained of my leg & lower back muscles into
the uncontrolled twitching that I had witnessed at Camp Gualala.
The descent off of the backside of the ridge--- Cazadero Rd---
was for me the hardest part of the ride, as the road surface was
very uneven, steep & twisting, and I was starting to lose my judgment
about how to set the bike up for a turn. At one point I was doing
close to 40 mph, and decided that this was crazy, so I backed
way off before the next series of turns. This next set turned
out to include a beautiful, sweeping banked turn, inviting speeds
of 40+, but which ended at a banked, fog-wet, crumbling metal
cattle guard crossing. I decided that being conservative was now
the fashion of the day.
The last rest stop at Monte Rio was pretty much of a denouement,
since it was only 18 mi from the end and prefaced no major climbs.
I rolled in at 7:50 or so, and decided that today's goal was to
finish the TT without having to use the lights that had been delivered
here. I paused just long enough to change to clear lenses, strap
on the battery and down a few more potatoes, and headed down the
last stretch. Much to my surprise, I started to feel pretty good,
the stabbing back pains went away, and I dropped into a sort of
Special Olympics Hammer Mode--- perhaps 20 mph, except that any
sort of hill would cause me to start reaching for the now-forbidden
granny gears.
While technically still daylight, it was actually pretty dark
in this section, as the road wound its way through heavily wooded
stretches, with a low overcast from the coastal fog. My final
turn from Willowside Rd onto Hall Rd was made at 8:53, without
lights. Official greeters included a cheering support crew, who
directed me i
nto the check-in area. Unfortunately I was sufficiently brain-dead that I couldn't
follow their directions, and did a few extra loops around the
parking lot, until I finally stumbled int
o the check-in line for an official time of 8:55 (I guess this
extra detour, together with the earlier overshoot of rest stop
#1, makes it the "Terrible 2.025"). Tom had come in about 20 min
earlier, while Craig (8:12) and Bill (7:23!) had blitzed the course
("blitzed" is of course a relative term--- the ride leaders turned
in astonishing finishing times of less than 12 hours). Thomas showed up
somewhat later, but well before the 10:00 course closing. A group picture verified that while significant brain death had set in, Team
Bikeaholics still retained a sense of humor.
Recommendations
The Bikeaholics official position on the TT is: Try it, you'll like it!The scenery is great, the roads are
traffic-free, and the support is first rate, probably the best
of any double you'll experience. Plus, you get to wear the jersey
without risking forehead-branding!
Respectfully,
Ken Straub
Morale Officer, Team Bikeaholics